Facebook Friends

Birds of a feather flock together.
That’s mostly true. You’ll end up hanging out with the group of people who share similar minds like yours.
That’s natural and totally fine.
Some of my friends even keeping their facebook private only to those friends that they are more comfortable with.
Again, that’s fine.

But I personally wouldnt do that. I have many kind of people in my facebook account. From bigots, faggots, “alay”, emo teens, wise old men, wise youngsters, socialites. etc.
And trust me, many of the updates I found in my newsfeed are weird, sometimes are vey annoying.
Many of my friends who know about this keep asking me why I dont just unfriend those people if they are really that annoying. Sometimes I also wonder that myself.
But you know, most of the times having many kind of friends could be really fun. They exposed me to variety in life. I, who get bored so easily, am entertained by some different thoughts and ideas, daily routines and life, also different perspectives.
And as for annoying people in facebook, they are a reminder for me; that perhaps I am also annoying to some people too.
But of course, there is a limit in everything. As long as people dont pick a fight with me, i would still enjoy a lot of amusement from different kind of people.

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Facebook Invitation

Ever since the e-era, people start to replace anything that could be replaced with electronic form. Including event invitation. Reason? It’s easy, cheaper, accessible, faster, and lighter.
I was not yet in the era where people sending wedding invitation through email (was there such era? I am not sure). But I am in the era when people at my age are getting married and facebook is booming. Almost everyone has an account. Thus a strong reason to send out wedding invitation (or invitation in any kind) through facebook with RSVP.
Now, most of the time, I could not be able to attend almost 99% of those weddings due to my location. It is only natural to just hit the button “not attending” in the RSVP, right?
But believe me or not, among hundreds wedding invitation I have received, I have only done that once. And I felt terribly guilty afterward!

That is my problem. For me there is a huge difference between not being able to attend and sending “not attending” RSVP. The latter is as if I reject the invitation boldly.
I notice that most of my friends will send some apology messages for not being able to attend. But still, for me it is a big heartbreaker to see many people “not attending” in the list.
I personally find it more comfortable to find as less as possible people in “not attending”, eventhough in reality not all of them are invited will come anyway.
That’s why I’d prefer not to respond the wedding invitation in facebook when I would not attend my friends’ wedding (obviously I cant choose “attending” or “maybe” for the latter will kinda give some hopes to the couple). Eventhough I’d send congratulatory message along with apology for not coming, but I’d prefer to not joining the “not attending” people.

..Or is it just me that thinking too much?

Death

I am very weak with death news. Ever since I realized that human is constrained by a strong force called death, I cant stop worrying and overly sensitive to every death news around me.
Perhaps it’s also because I have never had one from my closest family myself.
I cant stand the thought of losing people I dearly love. Whenever I have such thought, I’ll start trying to make sure my beloved ones are okay. Like this morning.
I woke up and as usual the first thing I checked is my phone and facebook.
There it was, a senior of mine just posted a death news about her sister and recently passed away her husband to be.
I was petrified for a moment. Deeply sad and the first person I could think of was my BF.
Immediately I called him, all I could think of that I have to talk to him while I can still dial his number and he could still pick it up.
“don’t go anywhere..”
He said yes in his morning voice, but enough to make me feel better.

But still, such gloomy mood will follow me the whole day. That’s what a death news could do to me. It haunted me and followed me everywhere I go for few days. And I start worrying about my family, my parents and my friends.
But never myself.

You see, there was a time when I realized that it would be fine by me to die but not being left by people I love. I cant bear the feeling of losing people, by realizing that those people are not here anymore. That no matter how hard I try to reach for them, I will never be able to hear from them ever again.
Such empty feeling is the worst.

That is why I wish I could tell all people I love:
“dont ever go..dont go anywhere..”
And eventhough i know it is selfish, I also know it will never come true..

Leap of Time, Why So in Rush?

This year I am 23 years old, young and ready to kick in!

Honestly, I’ve been losing my focus and start questioning why did I come to IUJ to begin with. I lost my direction.

How bad it is? Pretty bad! I had no motivation to do even simple things like reading material for quizz.

All I could think is I’ll get married, have one kid or two, and work (probably) nearby my residence area.

Gone all my dreams and high hopes for my future.

But today I came to a workshop about interview skills, which was very interesting and it quite opened my mind to all possibilities.

It’s actually weird that I’m start becoming so simple minded about my future; that’s very unlikely of me.

I love to have high dreams, I love to see my self in a new place, new people and new culture. I want to visit new countries and meet more and more cool people!

And I honestly dont know why I start limit myself!

I have to be grateful that my BF never ask me to stay only in his city once I graduated and married him, but why do I limit myself that I’ve been thinking to only apply for Phd in university in his area?

Then I recollect myself; there are places I would like to visit, far from here. 

My BF also never ask me to get a job ONLY in Japan, particularly, in his area. But since when do I only consider to work for company that’s within his prefecture?

Then I recollect myself; there are many kind of jobs I’d like to challenge myself with, it could be anywhere.

Best part is, my BF is even willing to adjust himself with my undiscovered future; he never limits my movement, my future career, and my dreams. If any, he wants to be a part of it. Just like I would like to be a part of his dreams (if you have any, dear 🙂 )

So, why do I start limit myself, creating my own boundaries?

Why So in Rush, Grace?

Then I recollect myself and realized,

I remember why I am here in Japan,

My family, my parents, and my siblings.

Because my future is not only for me,

but for them, and for my future kids.

So, I’ll stop limit myself and get my *ss off and work!

Wish me luck! I’ll fight through and through!