Pada Hari Itu

Aku masih mengingatnya
Pada hari itu aku tengah duduk di kantin kampusku
dan melirik iri pada meja sebelah

Adik kelasku mengenakan jam tangan ber-merek dan mahal
Aku tak tahan untuk tak merasa iri, walau aku diam saja
Kenapa, pikirku, Meski ayahnya dan ayahku punya pekerjaan yang serupa
Tapi aku tak dibekali benda-benda bermerek seperti adik kelasku ini?
Aku tahu ayahku tidak ingin anak-anaknya berfoya-foya
Tapi entahlah, saat itu aku iri padanya

Lalu datang kabar itu,
Aku masih mengingatnya
Ibuku memberikan kabar duka tentang
Ayah adik kelas yang sempat membuatku iri dulu
Aku sempat terbengong lama

Saat itu aku tengah berada di sebuah Mall bergengsi di Jakarta
Sambil jalan, digandeng olehmu,
mataku mengidarkan pandangan ke toko-toko barang-barang bermerek
LV, Hermes, Channel, Dior
Merek-merek yang tak kupungkiri ingin kubeli suatu saat nanti
Tapi saat itu hatiku dan seluruh hidupku tak lagi merasa tertarik

Pikiranku sibuk kepada keluargaku di rumah,
dan kamu yang menggandeng tanganku
Aku bersyukur penuh-penuh,
Tak ada yang seberuntung aku pada hari itu,
Tak akan pernah kutukar kalian bahkan dengan seisi dunia ini

Aku masih mengingatnya,
perasaan getir dan haru itu,
dan aku menggenggam erat tanganmu,
berharap tak perlu terlepas lagi
Tidak saat itu, tidak selamanya.

12/12/12

Until earlier this year, like other mainstream people do, I had a wish of getting married on 12/12/12.
As summer approaches, I know that it would be impossible to come true. And it really doesn’t come true.
Two days ago, we got into a cold war, where I got so mad that I prefer not to talk to you as I know we are such hot-headed when it comes to arguing.
Last night before I went to sleep, I was thinking to call you and talk it through. But I am too tired to explain things and to make reconciliation, so maybe tomorrow we will have a long talk, I thought. I had to gamble because there is a possibility that tomorrow may never exist and I’ll die with a regret to not even be able to tell you my feelings.
Today I am supposed to take a bus bound to Tokyo at 11.40am. But just now, the bus company just called me to cancel my trip because all bus trips will be canceled today due to heavy snow.
Ah, so much for doomsday.
Honestly, I just want to see you.
If today really is the doomsday as prophecy said, and the world really is ending today,
Maybe I may not dying in my wedding dress, surrounded by people I loved,
But at the very least, I’ve got the chance to see you for the last time even just for very short time.
Wait for me there, dear.
I’ll come before today is over.