Today is my mother’s bday. 5 days ago was my father’s. I suddenly had this familiar melancholy about leaving the house after getting married. Suddenly I feel I had very short time staying under one roof with my mom, only 15 years in which only around 4 years I can remember / not in constant fight with her.
I wasnt closed to her, and we often had hot arguments, sometimes I said rude things to her, even as a child.
I am not proud of this. I have many regrets of my past behaviour toward my parents.
Now suddenly the thought of leaving home, meeting them only for a month every year, it scares me.
I still think that the greatest gift I am having while I live away from home is the abilitu of me to pick up the phone and hear my mother’s voice anytime I want.
I am scared that if I live faraway for too long, someday maybe it will change. I am so scared 😦
Is this kind of feeling that my parents had back then when I entered boarding school for the first time?