Gone

Whenever I am mad at you, or when we had a heated argument and I am at my peak of anger,
I always had an imagination of life without you, how lonely would that be, coming home would mean nothing if it’s empty chair and bed, I wouldnt be that excited for weekend, cooking wouldnt be that fun.

I guess it would be so empty, it scares me.
I would probably wonder how could I live without you before, and how could I live without you ever?

Losing you scares me. The thought of not having you around, not waking up beside your broad shoulder, being unable to hug you after work, not seeing your smile or kiss you, or even not able to hear you saying “I love you”, those things, those freak me out. (I am actually crying now just from writing them).

I am drowned by you and unto you. My life is around you and you around mine.
Would my life still matter had you not in it?
I havent learned playing guitar from you, we havent visited Mecca or Europe together, heck, we even havent had children. I havent made you happy, have I?

Now everytime I am angry at you, I remember these things.
And instantly, I am not so angry anymore.

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Life

Sometimes I forgot that life goes on after I left one point of my life and embark to another point.
This week, my 2 best friends just moved to another points of their lives.
Nijong, one of my besties in undergrad, she got engaged and from the picture I saw she looked so incredibly happy. I love to see her happy. She got couple of bad experiences with guys and I know this guy is different. They seemed to be a really wonderful couple. Happy engagement day, jongki. May God bless you two always for the next journey 🙂

Nasidul, the craziest and loveliest bestie just got married! It sounds crazy but after all the struggle, I love seeing how she and her now-husband made it through. She looked lovely in a wedding dress, believe me, perhaps that would be her last time wearing makeup that much! Gotta praise her and treasure it! Hahaha
I know their stories a bit and I know how long they have been waiting for this wedding to come. So, congratulations, dear Nasi, may Allah always bless the path you two are on, may He shower you two with happiness and lightened the marriage even in the darkest hours. Be happy 🙂

Now, where am I?
Enjoying my current point and looking forward for another. But that reminds me to reconnect with my past points.
I want to reconnect and see how they have been doing!