The Best I’ve Ever Had

Hi you my little one. How are you feeling today?
You probably feeling anxious and much loved at the same time. Yep, blame me for the first one and thank your dad for the latter.

Dear you, you are probably too little to notice this (or actually maybe you are better at it at this stage), but you should know that your father loves you deeply. Oh, he really does.
There will be times in your life later when you will have some disagreements with him; probably because he set an early curfew compare to your friends’, or maybe because he is being “an old school”, you know, like all parents do.
You will be so pissed at him and dont understand why he was doing that (you know, being a parent?).

If later in your life you would feel that way and you happen to stumble upon this writing, I want you to know that anything your father does, was out of love for you, for your siblings (if there is any) and for the entire family. He does love you unconditionally the moment he knew you were in my belly.
He is not much the person of words, but never once I feel I am left alone.
He has been loving you then and I am sure, now.
He put up with my annoying tantrum, I am sure he will do the same with you.
He supports and helps me whenever I need a hand,
I am sure he would love to be the first person you turn to whenever you need something.
He worked very hard and not once complaining, because he knows his family (me, you and your future sibling) needs him.
He always be there for me and making sure I always feel comfortable, I am certain he will never leave your side, ever.
He has been the best man your mother ever had. And I hope you would feel the same way as I do.

Dear you, your might disagree with me, or maybe some circumstances changes on the way.
But please know that there is a point in my life (and yours, though you werent born yet) where I feel so extremely blessed and lucky to have him; we are both lucky to have such a loving man. The mother figure you have always known (hopefully as a loving person) is all thanks to your father.
I cant predict the future, but I hope our little family would continue to be blessed and full of love. I will never stop trying to be the best wife for him, so does your father, and we both will do everything in our power to be the best parents for you too.

Dear you,
You are probably too little to understand when I wrote this.
But please know that, the best I (and you) ever had, is very close to us all this time;
My husband, your father.
Please love and respect him, because he always loves you.

February 23, 2015.
(See you soon, honey. We are waiting for your arrival in excitement!)


Adalah aku yang selalu paranoid dan cemas akan kamu.
Tapi hari ini kamu membuktikanku salah. Aku dan Andrie menjengukmu hari ini, melihatmu bergerak dengan aktif. Kemudian aku merasa bodoh telah meng-underestimate kamu.

Jika suatu saat nanti kamu merasa lemah atau kehilangan kekuatan, aku ingin kamu tahu bahwa kamu itu kuat.
Bahkan sebelum kamu menyadarinya.
Pada saat kamu baru 1-4 minggu, aku telah membawamu terbang dan bekerja ke Malaysia dan Singapore. Kerjaanku saat itu bukannya santai, lho. Supervisorku lumayan strict dan itu perjalanan bisnis pertamaku. Aku juga berpuasa kala itu.
Saat kami akhirnya tau ada kamu, saat itu usia 6 minggu lebih, kami membawamu ke USJ Osaka. Naik beberapa wahana yang sudah aku takutkan akan membuatmu kenapa-kenapa.
Tapi besoknya ketika aku periksa, kamu ternyata tumbuh dan berkembang dengan normal.
Aku juga membawamu ke Thailand dan Myanmar. Sebisa mungkin menjagamu dengan pengetahuanku yang minim. Dan alhamdulillah, aku takjub saat menengok perkembanganmu sekembalinya aku di Jepang.
Maka dari itu, kamu harus tau kalau kamu itu kuat. Dan akulah orang pertama dan yang paling yakin soal itu.
Berapapun banyaknya orang yang bilang kamu sebaliknya, jangan percaya mereka.
Kamu kuat, kamu sudah membuktikan kepada kami selama ini.

Terima kasih sudah menjadi kuat dan sudah menguatkanku selalu.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Semoga Allah menjagamu dan melindungimu selalu dari segala mara bahaya, nak. Aamiin, aamiin, aamiin.

~ ditulis bulan September, tidak dipublish. Oddly enough, it is still relevant to today’s event.

February 10, 2015

“Oh my God, the way the guy proposed her was so cute! See, you should’ve proposed me with candle light dinner and bouquet of flower instead of a lunch in an Italian restaurant” said I, teasing him.
“I am sorry I could only find that place in such a rural area”
I laughed, he was right, the town I was living in back then was such a rural place, there is no way we could find a proper candle light dinner type of restaurant anyway. I should be feeling lucky that he was willing to visit me to my Grad school and spent his short-summer-break stuck in that rural area.
“But wait,” said I “when you proposed to me at that restaurant, it wasn’t really planned, was it? I mean, it was just sort of heat of the moment, right?”
He turned his head and looked at me in disbelief “of course it was planned! My purpose of visiting you during the summer break was to propose you. I had it planned even before I hopped on the bus to your town.”
“What? Really?”
“Really really”

Now I was the one who was shocked. The proposal was indeed not a romantic candle light dinner and i always thought it was just a heat of the moment.
But to think this guy was actually planning on it (and probably trying to find the right timing to do it the entire time), and was actually a bit nervous when he popped the question, it shows that he was damn serious about the relationship, and it is kinda sweet…and romantic on its own way.

Ah you, why did you hide such a lovely thought for yourself and let yourself not taking any credit? If I were you I would boast about it all the time! Haha.

It is still lovely though after 3 years of knowing you, I still got some sweet surprises left. 🙂
Thank you, dear.
You know I love you, as always. :-*