Until earlier this year, like other mainstream people do, I had a wish of getting married on 12/12/12.
As summer approaches, I know that it would be impossible to come true. And it really doesn’t come true.
Two days ago, we got into a cold war, where I got so mad that I prefer not to talk to you as I know we are such hot-headed when it comes to arguing.
Last night before I went to sleep, I was thinking to call you and talk it through. But I am too tired to explain things and to make reconciliation, so maybe tomorrow we will have a long talk, I thought. I had to gamble because there is a possibility that tomorrow may never exist and I’ll die with a regret to not even be able to tell you my feelings.
Today I am supposed to take a bus bound to Tokyo at 11.40am. But just now, the bus company just called me to cancel my trip because all bus trips will be canceled today due to heavy snow.
Ah, so much for doomsday.
Honestly, I just want to see you.
If today really is the doomsday as prophecy said, and the world really is ending today,
Maybe I may not dying in my wedding dress, surrounded by people I loved,
But at the very least, I’ve got the chance to see you for the last time even just for very short time.
Wait for me there, dear.
I’ll come before today is over.

1 Year of Autumn

Because I have limited access to internet in my apartment and probably I will not be able to post this entry tomorrow or the day after, let me just post this in advance.

Tomorrow  we will visit Tokyo Sea Life Park. Well, at least that’s our plan. It’s a date, right? 😉

I love going on a date with you, although deciding a place can take some tims as we have very different preferences on how to spend vacation and where.

Like I love picnic, walking slowly in a park, holding hands, watching those lovely kids while imagining to have some of our own playing hide and seek, eating foods I cooked or matcha ice cream we bought in the ice cream shop; with me unable to finish the ice cream but insisted to keep trying because I love ice cream. Telling stupid jokes, tickling your belly and we laugh. Realizing how happy we are. Oh, how I love that scene!

While I am satisfied with spending the whole day in the park, you would rather go to many places in one day. Jumping from this temple to another, seeing one street and fly to other place. Well, you know I get tired very easily and I can be so lazy to walk. I even begged for you to give me piggy-back ride, which is obviously and wisely refused. 😛

Anyway, tomorrow’s place for date is my preference, which made you dumbfounded when I told you with great excitement just how much I want to go to Tokyo Sea Life Park. Ah, come one, we’ve got to see inside of the sea, won’t that be amazing? xD

But you know what, you are right that we need to go to many places instead of just spending time in one place. In fact, there are many places I want to go with you, meeting more people with you, telling many stories to you, seeing changing seasons next to you, and trying weird cuisines with you.

I want to laugh more,

to love more

and to be loved.

It’s really sort of happy feeling that can never be replaced by anything.

Thank you for one year of lovely autumn we have shared, it was fulfilling, it couldn’t be more happier, it couldn’t be more lovelier.

Thank you for putting up with me, for taking care of me, for just always being there.

It’s autumn in Tokyo, it will be always autumn in my heart. 🙂

Looking forward for tomorrow’s date, and the day after, and the countless days after…

Sore Ga Ai Deshou

Why is it the more I tried to find an excuse not to be with you, the more I wanted to be next to you right now?
The more I doubt, the more I don’t want to lose sight of you,
And the more I tried to give up, the more I assure that I can get through hell if it is with you.

Does that mean…is it possible that…
…I am in love?

Best Parents in the World

My parents are definitely not the best parents in the world. But they are the best parents for me.
There are many things they have done that might not be perfect; but nothing is perfect, right?
My parents, no matter how far from perfection they are, are so perfect for me. I just could not imagine if I was raised by another people other than them.
My parents, with their imperfection, had taught me a lot of things in so many ways.
And with their perfection, they made me the way I am now.
I am not their proud, rather they are my pride.
I love you, ibu, bapak.
Be happy, that’s the best wish I could ever possibly have for you.


In this kind of packed train, we are like strangers, not knowing of each other’s stories, avoid each other’s glance, and heading toward different directions.
We are seating apart, separated by dozens of people who are real strangers.
In this kind of packed train, we are like strangers; there is always a chance that we might pass each other’s by, not knowing that we complete each other’s jigsaw puzzle.

But in this case right now, we are destined to meet; to know, to fall in love, and to hold hands.

Until we are strangers no more.


~Kyoto, one day in Spring



This term will be over in 2 days. So does my scholarship. I still havent figure out how to walk on from this month and on. I hope I’ll find a way.
Anyway, I was cleaning up room when I saw the pic my dad sent me. I got a teary eyes. I’ve been forgetting them for long, and I miss them terribly bad.
I hope there will be a way where I will no longer burdening them in any way.
I feel so guilty as probably I will dissapoint them with my score this term. I hope I won’t..
Let’s hope I won’t..