Final Fantasy

I just need to write this down since I dont have anybody to talk to about this. Even my BF probably didnt get me now. My bad for shoving this topic at his throat after a tiring day for him, but I really need to get these thoughts out.

First of all, do you believe in love that Beauty and the Beast have for each other? Do you believe that a person can actually genuinely love someone despite of their status, age, educational background, etc?

To make it clear, I will give you an example. Recently, my friend wrote something on facebook, posing a question about selecting between two girls. The first one is with diploma degree and the second one is with bachelor degree. Assuming that educational background does not affecting the “chemistry” when they engage in discussion with us, I therefore answered that the degree does not really matter. In short, I do believe in love between Beauty and the Beast. Love that sees beyond status, educational background, age, etc. Yes, you heard me right and clear, I do believe it does exist.

Now, what makes me think so?
Because I think I may be in it now.
No, it is not beauty and the beast literally, as a matter of fact it comes with different case, but I kinda think that I could understand how somebody can actually disregard things like status, educational background, and trade them for something much more important; comfort.
Comfort does not itself mean love, but love without comfort surely is irritating.

I have been with my current BF for a year and half now and I have to say that despite of our many differences, I sincerely think that the comfort I got everytime I am around him will always win me over. Sometimes, I even forget that we are actually different at all. The skeptical me who used to think that it is very naive (and cheesy!) to think that someone can put ‘love’, comfort, or whatever it is called, above other factors, and that someone can actually answered “Why I want to be with him is because I love him, and that is all”, has started to doubt that love may not be that complicated afterall.
And to be honest,
it scares the hell out of me.

I mean, was the love, feeling, whatever it is, is actually real?
Or was it just a fantasy?
Was it just me wearing a pink glasses?
Does such “true” love actually exist?

The deeper my feeling for someone, the scarier it gets.
And I have never been this scared before in my life.

I dont exactly know what the meaning of love is,
But if it is the comfortable and secure feeling you have whenever you are around him,
the feeling that makes you believe anything will be fine as long as you have each other,
kind of feeling that makes you think it does not matter how he looks, or what degrees he has, or how rich he is, because deeply inside you always know that he cares about you more than any guy could do. Even though he barely say sweet things, but you just knew that you can rely on him. And that is what really matters.
If those feelings are love,
then yes,
I am madly in love.

And hell, it’s scary.

PHP (Pemberi Harapan Palsu)

Judul diambil dari istilah populer jaman sekarang. Ada yang pernah ngerasain di-PHP-in? Kayanya mungkin hampir semua orang pernah. Ada yang pernah merasa mem-PHP seseorang? Hati-hati, kamu mungkin ga sadar kalau kamu pernah begitu, lho.
Anyway, akhir-akhir ini dapet cerita ga enak soal PHP. Beberapa temen jadi korban PHP. Dan percayalah, Pelaku PHP bisa lelaki ataupun perempuan. Iya, tidak ada batas untuk kekejaman.

Temen saya A (cewek), hari ini cerita soal kisah cintanya yang kandas sebelum berkembang gara2 dia baru tau dari hasil stalking kalau cowok yan tengah dekat dengannya selama 3 minggu dan mengaku single itu ternyata akan menikah 5 bulan lagi! Yang kasihannya, A sudah terlanjur menaruh rasa percaya bahwa cowok cemen ini adalah jenis cowok baik-baik dan bisa dipercaya. Ternyata A harus tau soal kabar pernikahan ini bukan dari mulut si cowok langsung, tapi dari hasil stalking socmed si calon istri cowoknya. Dasar pengecut!

Lain lagi si B (cowok) yang sudah dekat dengan adik kelasnya yang tinggal di lain kota dari si B, kemudian ketika sang adik kelas datang berkunjung ke kota tempat B tinggal, mereka jalan layaknya pasangan kekasih. Ketika akhirnya sang adik kembali ke kota asal, barulah sang adik kelas jujur bahwa dia sudah punya cowok yang tak lain adalah kawan B juga. Yaelaaaahh!

Trik supaya ga kena PHP mungkin bisa dimulai untuk tetap waspada dan skeptik ketika harapan mulai muncul. Juga ada pepatah bilang “jangan menaruh harapan terlalu tinggi, ntar sakit” tapi bullshit amat. Kalau jatuh cinta, harapan ga ditaruh tinggi-tinggi pun pasti melambung dengan sendirinya, iya ga sih? Terutama kalo harapan-harapan ini terus-terusan dipompa sama pelaku PHP. Kalo udah begini, cara paling akurat ya dengan konfirmasi langsung. Apakah harapan-harapan yang kita punya itu sebetulnya bener-bener ada kesempatan untuk jadi kenyataan, atau ya cuma sekedar ada di kepala kita doang. Yang paling brengsekketek adalah kalau pas dikonfirmasi, pelaku PHP teteeeuuup aja ngeles. Kalo udah gitu sih udah bukan PHP lagi, tapi bejat!

Gatau ya kenapa ada aja orang yang tega secara sadar memberi harapan palsu kepada orang lain (apalagi yang jelas-jelas mereka tahu orang itu punya perasaan lebih). Atau apa sebetulnya korban PHP ini terlalu “bodoh” dan “naif” untuk percaya? Mbuh juga. Yang jelas kalau orang itu memang betul-betul baik dan peduli sama kita, dia pasti lebih milih untuk jujur walaupun menyakitkan daripada bohong tapi melenakan (yang ujungnya lebih menyakitkan). Percaya, deh!

Jadi, udah berapa kali PHP-in orang? 😀