A Friend from Faraway

Today I feel so heart broken.
As I mentioned before, I will start working next Monday and I have been waiting for this moment to come since months ago. I am no doubt very very excited and happy. I feel so ready to break a leg!
But at the same time, I feel sad because that means I probably will not have more time to have skype session with my Japanese friend, T-san.
First, let me tell you about T-san.
He is 61 years old Japanese guy lives in Malaysia, suffers from Parkinson Disease which restricts him to do heavy exercise. I dont know in detail how PD affects him, but from what he told me, he spent most of his time at home. He cannot be under stress, or being too tired, he cant walk long, he cant sit for too long, but that doesnt stop him to learn new things. He wanted to learn bahasa Indonesia, and he saw my ads on a website (I posted an ads about me teaching english and bahasa).
He called me to get a trial session.
At that time, I know little about PD. I asked him to send me email, he said though it will be difficult, but he will try. He did try. It must be hard for him, I feel bad after knowing more about his PD.
So we began our chat session, me learning Japanese from him and he learns Bahasa from me. He is really kind, easy to talk to, has a lot of energy and eagerness to try and learn. That kind of spirit is very rare for someone at his age. We talk twice a week for one hour (sometimes more), about many issues, from politics to celebrity.
It was really fun. I will tell the stories of each session to my husband, and he also found Me and T-san’s friendship as unique and interesting. He is glad that I am able to make friends even though it was online friends. And it became a habit for him at the end of the day to come home from work and ask me about the chat session as he most certainly will hear a new interesting story.

For me who spend most of my time at home with no friends, talking to him feels refreshing. I feel less lonely. I was once joked that we both are the same; kinda feel lonely and need friends to talk to, and it happened that we found each other.
And soon I feel him as a friend. He listened to my struggle on finding job, he even helped me to practice for my interview for my current job. I hope I was ever the same help as he was to me.
Now that I look back, I never regret of being unemployed for 6 months if that means I made at least one person in this world happy, or at least I was being useful to other people. I am glad I have ever been a friend of him, even just for a short time.

Now that I will start working, I promised him that we will still try to find a time to talk to each other and learn Japanese-Bahasa again. But deeply inside we both know it will be more difficult to find time, or at least it wont be the same.

I hope he will stay healthy and he will find himself surrounded by blessed people so he wont be ever feeling lonely.

As for me, I will try my best at my new job and always learn new things everyday. He has inspired my that age and condition should not stop us from learning. So, that is exactly what I am going to do!

Thank you T-san for being such a good friends for the past 4 months.
お世話になりました。 元気でね。

Final Fantasy

I just need to write this down since I dont have anybody to talk to about this. Even my BF probably didnt get me now. My bad for shoving this topic at his throat after a tiring day for him, but I really need to get these thoughts out.

First of all, do you believe in love that Beauty and the Beast have for each other? Do you believe that a person can actually genuinely love someone despite of their status, age, educational background, etc?

To make it clear, I will give you an example. Recently, my friend wrote something on facebook, posing a question about selecting between two girls. The first one is with diploma degree and the second one is with bachelor degree. Assuming that educational background does not affecting the “chemistry” when they engage in discussion with us, I therefore answered that the degree does not really matter. In short, I do believe in love between Beauty and the Beast. Love that sees beyond status, educational background, age, etc. Yes, you heard me right and clear, I do believe it does exist.

Now, what makes me think so?
Because I think I may be in it now.
No, it is not beauty and the beast literally, as a matter of fact it comes with different case, but I kinda think that I could understand how somebody can actually disregard things like status, educational background, and trade them for something much more important; comfort.
Comfort does not itself mean love, but love without comfort surely is irritating.

I have been with my current BF for a year and half now and I have to say that despite of our many differences, I sincerely think that the comfort I got everytime I am around him will always win me over. Sometimes, I even forget that we are actually different at all. The skeptical me who used to think that it is very naive (and cheesy!) to think that someone can put ‘love’, comfort, or whatever it is called, above other factors, and that someone can actually answered “Why I want to be with him is because I love him, and that is all”, has started to doubt that love may not be that complicated afterall.
And to be honest,
it scares the hell out of me.

I mean, was the love, feeling, whatever it is, is actually real?
Or was it just a fantasy?
Was it just me wearing a pink glasses?
Does such “true” love actually exist?

The deeper my feeling for someone, the scarier it gets.
And I have never been this scared before in my life.

I dont exactly know what the meaning of love is,
But if it is the comfortable and secure feeling you have whenever you are around him,
the feeling that makes you believe anything will be fine as long as you have each other,
kind of feeling that makes you think it does not matter how he looks, or what degrees he has, or how rich he is, because deeply inside you always know that he cares about you more than any guy could do. Even though he barely say sweet things, but you just knew that you can rely on him. And that is what really matters.
If those feelings are love,
then yes,
I am madly in love.

And hell, it’s scary.

Sarcasm

Some people know me for my sarcasm. Well, who doesn’t like sarcasm? except for the victimssarcasm helps you reduce stress and set your mood in balance. At least that is what I feel about it.
But not everyone appreciates sarcasm. While it can be funny, it can also hurt some people’s heart and ruins some fragile relationships if you went overboard.
Take an example of my relationship. Me and my boyfriend are a sarcastic couple who at times can be cruelly sarcastic in viewing the world. At a glance, it seems interesting. But actually, it is too dangerous. You see, during the fight, sometimes it is hard not to slash your opponent with your words. With sarcastic person, the difficulty is almost unable to resist. Once the trigger pulls off and kaboom! Things can get VERY ugly.
So the best way is too keep it as low as possible whenever I am with my boyfriend; we did not throw sarcastic comments to each other even though it is just a joke. Because relationship is too deeply rooted in emotional feeling that can make me 100times more sensitive. Do you think why girls will take seriously a comment like “the dress makes you look fat” from their boyfriends? Because telling joke can be risky and if you dont do it right, your relationship is at stake.
I am not saying that it is forever. Well, once a couple can draw the line between joke and not-to-be-laughed about area, I am sure things will work smoother.
But before then, keep your sharp tongue to yourself!

PHP (Pemberi Harapan Palsu)

Judul diambil dari istilah populer jaman sekarang. Ada yang pernah ngerasain di-PHP-in? Kayanya mungkin hampir semua orang pernah. Ada yang pernah merasa mem-PHP seseorang? Hati-hati, kamu mungkin ga sadar kalau kamu pernah begitu, lho.
Anyway, akhir-akhir ini dapet cerita ga enak soal PHP. Beberapa temen jadi korban PHP. Dan percayalah, Pelaku PHP bisa lelaki ataupun perempuan. Iya, tidak ada batas untuk kekejaman.

Temen saya A (cewek), hari ini cerita soal kisah cintanya yang kandas sebelum berkembang gara2 dia baru tau dari hasil stalking kalau cowok yan tengah dekat dengannya selama 3 minggu dan mengaku single itu ternyata akan menikah 5 bulan lagi! Yang kasihannya, A sudah terlanjur menaruh rasa percaya bahwa cowok cemen ini adalah jenis cowok baik-baik dan bisa dipercaya. Ternyata A harus tau soal kabar pernikahan ini bukan dari mulut si cowok langsung, tapi dari hasil stalking socmed si calon istri cowoknya. Dasar pengecut!

Lain lagi si B (cowok) yang sudah dekat dengan adik kelasnya yang tinggal di lain kota dari si B, kemudian ketika sang adik kelas datang berkunjung ke kota tempat B tinggal, mereka jalan layaknya pasangan kekasih. Ketika akhirnya sang adik kembali ke kota asal, barulah sang adik kelas jujur bahwa dia sudah punya cowok yang tak lain adalah kawan B juga. Yaelaaaahh!

Trik supaya ga kena PHP mungkin bisa dimulai untuk tetap waspada dan skeptik ketika harapan mulai muncul. Juga ada pepatah bilang “jangan menaruh harapan terlalu tinggi, ntar sakit” tapi bullshit amat. Kalau jatuh cinta, harapan ga ditaruh tinggi-tinggi pun pasti melambung dengan sendirinya, iya ga sih? Terutama kalo harapan-harapan ini terus-terusan dipompa sama pelaku PHP. Kalo udah begini, cara paling akurat ya dengan konfirmasi langsung. Apakah harapan-harapan yang kita punya itu sebetulnya bener-bener ada kesempatan untuk jadi kenyataan, atau ya cuma sekedar ada di kepala kita doang. Yang paling brengsekketek adalah kalau pas dikonfirmasi, pelaku PHP teteeeuuup aja ngeles. Kalo udah gitu sih udah bukan PHP lagi, tapi bejat!

Gatau ya kenapa ada aja orang yang tega secara sadar memberi harapan palsu kepada orang lain (apalagi yang jelas-jelas mereka tahu orang itu punya perasaan lebih). Atau apa sebetulnya korban PHP ini terlalu “bodoh” dan “naif” untuk percaya? Mbuh juga. Yang jelas kalau orang itu memang betul-betul baik dan peduli sama kita, dia pasti lebih milih untuk jujur walaupun menyakitkan daripada bohong tapi melenakan (yang ujungnya lebih menyakitkan). Percaya, deh!

Jadi, udah berapa kali PHP-in orang? 😀

12/12/12

Until earlier this year, like other mainstream people do, I had a wish of getting married on 12/12/12.
As summer approaches, I know that it would be impossible to come true. And it really doesn’t come true.
Two days ago, we got into a cold war, where I got so mad that I prefer not to talk to you as I know we are such hot-headed when it comes to arguing.
Last night before I went to sleep, I was thinking to call you and talk it through. But I am too tired to explain things and to make reconciliation, so maybe tomorrow we will have a long talk, I thought. I had to gamble because there is a possibility that tomorrow may never exist and I’ll die with a regret to not even be able to tell you my feelings.
Today I am supposed to take a bus bound to Tokyo at 11.40am. But just now, the bus company just called me to cancel my trip because all bus trips will be canceled today due to heavy snow.
Ah, so much for doomsday.
Honestly, I just want to see you.
If today really is the doomsday as prophecy said, and the world really is ending today,
Maybe I may not dying in my wedding dress, surrounded by people I loved,
But at the very least, I’ve got the chance to see you for the last time even just for very short time.
Wait for me there, dear.
I’ll come before today is over.

Cooking with A Friend

Saya suka sekali baking kue. Kesukaan saya itu juga baru saya temukan akhir-akhir ini saja, sih. Terutama ketika hari-hari suram dan mood saya sedang super buruk dan biasanya orang sekitar saya kena getahnya  saya bakal lari ke dapur, mengaduk tepung dan apapun yang bisa saya temukan di rak, lalu voila, terciptalah pai apel hangat, atau kue buah. Ya, saya belum jago banget dalam baking atau menghasilkan banyak kue, sih. Tapi ternyata saya betul-betul menyukai masa-masa dimana saya menghabiskan waktu mengocok telur dan krim sampai mengembang, atau ketika berharap-harap cemas menunggui kue dipanggang, bahkan ketika saya membagi-bagikan kue hasil buatan saya ke orang-orang yang saya temui di dapur. Rasanya sungguh menyenangkan!

Jadi ketika saya melihat seorang teman saya di facebook mengunggah foto hasil panggangannya, sebuah roti labu kismis yang sangat menggugah selera, saya sangat sangat excited! Saya pernah memanggang kue, tapi belum pernah mencoba membuat roti. Langsung saja saya tanya resepnya pada teman saya sekalian saya bilang kalau saya suka sekali baking. Teman saya bukan hanya memberikan resep rotinya, tapi juga mengajak saya ikutan kelas memasak yang dia biasa ikuti, dan karena itu pertemuan pertama, saya bisa ikutan secara GRATIS!

Gyaaaaaaa! Saya literally menjerit kegirangan! Dengan segera saya mengiyakan dan teman saya pun berjanji akan membuat temu janji dengan pihak cooking studio. Saya diminta memilih hari dan menu yang ingin kami masak pada hari itu. Akhirnya diputuskan kami akan memasak Risotto dan Roti Jagung pada hari Senin 24 September.

Ternyata sekolah memasak yang diikuti teman saya itu punya banyak cooking studio di Jepang. Sayangnya di prefektur Niigata cuma ada satu, itupun jauh sekali dari kampus saya. Teman saya itu, namanya Yuka-san, memilih cooking studio di Shibuya untuk mempermudah saya karena saya sedang tinggal di Shibuya sampai akhir minggu ini, padahal rumah Yuka-san sendiri sejam dari Shibuya. Yuka-san baik sekali ya! 😀

Waktu sampai di cooking studio, saya cukup terkagum-kagum karena ruangannya cukup besar dan peralatannya lengkap. Banyak sekali oven gas di tengah ruangan. Lalu ada juga beberapa perempuan lain yang tampaknya juga anggota sekolah memasak. Waktu datang kita dipinjami apron hijau, walaupun kebanyakan dari anggota sekolah masak sudah membawa apron mereka masing-masing. Lalu Yuka-san juga tanya apa saya membawa sapu tangan atau serbet. Saya bilang saya tidak bawa karena tidak tahu. Yuka-san minta maaf karena lupa bilang, ternyata kita juga disarankan membawa serbet sendiri yang nantinya berguna untuk melap tangan setelah mencuci piring atau tangan. Oya, bahasa inggris Yuka-san belum terlalu lancar dan bahasa Jepang saya pun masih betul-betul dasar, sehingga selama ngobrol dengan Yuka-san, berkali-kali saya harus mengulang pertanyaan dan butuh beberapa lama untuk Yuka-san memahami pertanyaan saya, begitupun sebaliknya saya mencoba memahami maksud pertanyaan Yuka-san. Tapi yang namanya komunikasi, kalau ada niat pasti jalan terus, kok. Dengan susah payah, kami bisa juga ngobrol asik selama sesi memasak 🙂

Setelah memakai apron, kami siap untuk memasak. Kami dikenalkan dengan seorang perempuan cantik yang ternyata akan menjadi instruktur memasak kami. Kami memanggil instrukturnya dengan ‘Sensei’, eh ternyata bahasa inggris sensei lebih parah dari Yuka-san! 😆 . Setelah digiring ke meja masak, Sensei memulai pelajaran membuat roti dan risotto. Ternyata membuat roti itu jauh lebih simpel daripada membuat kue. Saya masih takut-takut dalam menggiles adonan roti, akhirnya dibantu oleh Yuka-san yang sudah lebih mahir dan luwes. Sugoii, dalam dua menit saja adonannya sudah cantik! Sasuga!

With Sensei and Yuka-san

Membuat risotto sendiri ternyata tidaklah sulit dan bahan-bahannya pun mudah. Sebetulnya risotto yang akan kami buat akan menggunakan bacon, tetapi karena Yuka-san tau saya tidak makan babi, Yuka-san meminta kepada sensei agar tidak perlu memakai bacon untuk risottonya. Ternyata Yuka-san pun punya alergi terhadap daging dan hanya makan ikan saja. Syukurlah, tadinya saya enggak enak kalau nanti makanannya jadi kurang enak gara-gara enggak pakai bacon.

Anyway, risotto juga menggunakan sedikit wine putih untuk menambahkan harum. Saat itu saya juga tanya apa wine putih ini bisa diganti dengan yang lain. Sensei bilang bisa saja diganti dengan Sake Jepang. Eaa sama aja dong kalo gitu, sama-sama alkoholnya 😆

Saya menjelaskan alasan saya bertanya karena di Indonesia agak sulit mencari wine ataupun sake, kalaupun ada pastilah mahal sekali. Itu karena minum alkohol di Indonesia tidak sepopuler di Jepang yang dimana-mana mudah menjumpai kedai sake atau alkohol. Mereka berdua kaget, terutama saat saya bilang kalau saya enggak pernah minum alkohol. Yuka-san langsung bilang “kamu tinggal di Shibuya dan enggak pernah minum alkohol?” sambil terkagum-kagum.

Saat mencuci piring (kita diwajibkan mencuci sendiri peralatan memasak yang sudah digunakan), kami terlibat di sebuah percakapan:

Y (Yuka-san) : Terus aneh enggak buat orang Indonesia melihat banyak kedai sake di Jepang? Apalagi yang nomikai kalau malam hari?

S (saya) : Ya begitu, deh. Tapi saya biasa aja kok.

Y : Lalu orang Indonesia kalau mau refreshing ngapain, dong? Kan mereka enggak minum?

S : refreshing….ngapain ya…*mikir lama* nggg….(iya ya, orang Indonesia kalo lagi stress ngapain sih refreshingnya?)

Y : Saya enggak kebayang deh, kalau saya pasti udah stress bertumpuk banget tuh! Ga bakalan kuat!

Saya sih cuma bales cengengesan aja waktu itu. Sambil mikir dalam hati, iya ya, kita kalo lagi stress kerjaan numpuk atau mau refreshing ngapain ya?

Habis mencuci piring, kami melanjutkan masak-masak stase terakhir alias memanggang roti. Saat inilah kita dikasih break sepuluh menit dan di depan studio sudah disediakan meja berisi teh dingin dan hangat. Karena hawa Tokyo saat itu dingin menusuk, saya memilih teh hangat chamomile yang wanginya enak sekali. Sembari kembali ke meja masak kami, Yuka-san melihat masakan meja sebelah yang diisi seorang gadis sebaya saya yang sibuk membentuk cake stroberinya. Saya jadi ikutan tertarik. Tapi ternyata si mbaknya judes banget. Kayanya enggak seneng kalo diganggu. Baru kali itu saya melihat mbak-mbak judes di jepang, kirain semua orangnya ramah #naif.

Akhirnya masakan kami jadi! Roti keluar dari panggangan dan hasilnya sempurna! Risotto juga terlihat menggiurkan!

Risotto and Corn Bread

gyaaaaaaaaaa! My very first bread! Made by my own hand! Gyaaaaaaa!!

Rasanya pun uenaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkk!!! Saya jadi pingin bikin lagi yang lainnya! Sayangnya saat proses membuat roti ini ada yang namanya proses pengembangan dan adonan sebaiknya disimpan di tempat hangat bertemperatur 41 derajat celcius. Di studio ini mereka punya alatnya, tapi kalo di rumah saya pake apa dong? 😦

Gapapalah, mungkin kapan-kapan saya bikin sendiri pas lagi iseng. Yang jelas saya senang banget bisa ikutan kelas memasak bareng Yuka-san dan Sensei. Seru dan lumayan bisa dapet makan malam gratis! hehehehe

1 Year of Autumn

Because I have limited access to internet in my apartment and probably I will not be able to post this entry tomorrow or the day after, let me just post this in advance.

Tomorrow  we will visit Tokyo Sea Life Park. Well, at least that’s our plan. It’s a date, right? 😉

I love going on a date with you, although deciding a place can take some tims as we have very different preferences on how to spend vacation and where.

Like I love picnic, walking slowly in a park, holding hands, watching those lovely kids while imagining to have some of our own playing hide and seek, eating foods I cooked or matcha ice cream we bought in the ice cream shop; with me unable to finish the ice cream but insisted to keep trying because I love ice cream. Telling stupid jokes, tickling your belly and we laugh. Realizing how happy we are. Oh, how I love that scene!

While I am satisfied with spending the whole day in the park, you would rather go to many places in one day. Jumping from this temple to another, seeing one street and fly to other place. Well, you know I get tired very easily and I can be so lazy to walk. I even begged for you to give me piggy-back ride, which is obviously and wisely refused. 😛

Anyway, tomorrow’s place for date is my preference, which made you dumbfounded when I told you with great excitement just how much I want to go to Tokyo Sea Life Park. Ah, come one, we’ve got to see inside of the sea, won’t that be amazing? xD

But you know what, you are right that we need to go to many places instead of just spending time in one place. In fact, there are many places I want to go with you, meeting more people with you, telling many stories to you, seeing changing seasons next to you, and trying weird cuisines with you.

I want to laugh more,

to love more

and to be loved.

It’s really sort of happy feeling that can never be replaced by anything.

Thank you for one year of lovely autumn we have shared, it was fulfilling, it couldn’t be more happier, it couldn’t be more lovelier.

Thank you for putting up with me, for taking care of me, for just always being there.

It’s autumn in Tokyo, it will be always autumn in my heart. 🙂

Looking forward for tomorrow’s date, and the day after, and the countless days after…